to all the trends we've loved before

when the uncool is cool again, where do you stand?

Noteworthy things have been happening in the world of women’s shoes in the last few years. The ballet flat has morphed into a nunnery sock. The toes of shoes have been getting … squarer and squarer. Or longer and pointier. Kitten-heel slingbacks are everywhere. The block-heel square-toe strappy sandal, that shoe relegated to the mid-2000s deep discount aisle at DSW¹, is selling at full price again.

I’m not particularly interested in this go-round of the square-toe sandal, but what I am interested in is what’s behind the revival.

I’m calling it The Re-like Effect.

Isn’t it funny how fashion trends are predictable like … relationship rebounds? Super tapered jeans → extra wide leg. Micro bags → the return of oversized bags. Riding the trend carousel is like a never ending Taylor Swift album.

You know that moment of collective eyebrow-raising when a trend resurfaces after a twenty-year retirement? For those of us who have lived through it before, it’s because we’re being asked to re-like something that we’d all gotten over years ago. That second reacquaintance with the nylon armpit bag or the square toe boot can bring up some mixed emotions.

The other interesting thing about trend cycling is that we shouldn’t be surprised when something that was uncool suddenly becomes cool (again), but somehow we always are. Fashion is really good at getting into our headspace and staying there. Even if we’re rationally aware that trends circle back, we still get, well, emotionally invested when we’re committed to a look. So it almost feels like a tiny breakup when the fashion winds move on.

Maybe the most profound words ever spoken in the history of the Real Housewives franchise, by none other than OG RHONY Countess Luann de Lesseps. [Image credit: Bravo]

Here’s the thing: Fashion is not Switzerland. Fashion always has strong opinions on the fit of jeans, the shape of shoes, the size of handbags. The industry propels itself forward via trends. Chasing The Cool Girl means we’re never completely stable nor secure in our likes and dislikes. This constant state of flux is great for the fashion industry as a business; it’s not so great for our sense of self, the environment, or our wallets.

The Cool → Uncool → Cool Again process (rinse and repeat).

The uncool becomes cool again thanks to the power of celebrity culture and digital media to influence us from every screen and device. How many Youtube influencer videos does it take to change your mind, to convince you to buy something? The online influencer chatter about “Is the Row Margaux the next Birkin?” (see last week’s newsletter) is a great example of this breathless hype campaign. If you repeat something often enough, people begin to believe it even after an initial phase of skepticism — this is the illusory truth effect. Clearly, the implications can extend far beyond just the fashion world.

Can we even trust our own likes and preferences, given these constant background influences? (Yes, but it takes some work and regular reflection.) Once we’re aware of the pervasiveness of said influences, are we doomed to endless rounds of second-guessing ourselves? (No, but cultivating confidence in your instincts and defining your needs/wants will really help. You’ll still make mistakes sometimes. Happens to all of us. Give yourself grace. Keep your receipts just in case.)

Even in the age of the algorithm, we have agency. It is possible to explore fashion-y interests and enjoy living in the material world while maintaining a healthy critical perspective about it all. (That’s why I write this newsletter.) Fashion is a game, but the House doesn’t always have to win. It’s helpful to ask yourself a few clarifying questions next time something pops up on your radar that looks covetable, or weirdly compelling, or … déjà vu:

A Fashion Disambiguation Q&A

1. Is ____ new to me, or is this a re-like?

2. If ____ is new to me, do I like it for me, or because it’s trending/FOMO?

3. If it’s a re-like, why did I get over it the first time around?

Why you got over something is valuable personal style intel. Did you just outgrow that look? Did it look amazing but was a pain to wear IRL?² Did the fashion powers decree that it was ‘over’, and you followed suit? Just like the lessons learned from purchase mistakes, these are the lived experiences that shape our style. Generally speaking, if I went through the like → dislike cycle once already with something, I’m sitting it out the second time around.³ The reverse also holds true; I’ll continue to re-wear an old favorite (like my mid-2000s Balenciaga city bag, bought secondhand ca. 2011) even if its hype days have passed because I still love the style and it’s practical and enjoyable to use.

Developing a personal style is about discovering, honing and standing by your own likes and dislikes to form a point of view. Use this POV to build a self-centered wardrobe that can engage with the current trend agenda as a dialogue. Choose when and how you want to participate in the fashion game. At some point you’ll probably find yourself going against the grain of what’s trending, and that’s a good thing. Wear what you love.

How do you feel about the current ‘90s/Y2K revival? Do you re-like trends, or is once enough?

1. No shade to Designer Shoe Warehouse. I have fond memories of bargain hunting there with friends in college.

2. Case in point: the huge (and heavy!) handbags of the 2000s-2010s that are trending again. These days I prefer to get my strength training at the gym.

3. Not re-liking: platform sneakers, the aforementioned huge bags, extreme square-toe shoes.